GLITCH #1 ( intro )

[glitchier]

[ Wherever you were before, you're not there anymore. This incredibly creative and original premise is the start of your interdimensional journey, and you're starting here, in Sitihir—inside of a large Starbucks, to be precise.

Everyone inside the Starbucks today has been gifted with a nametag that reads as follows:

HELLO! My name is _______

But whatever is in that blank is most certainly not your name! Perhaps it's an obscure nickname, or something rude, or something flattering! Either way, you're not leaving this Starbucks until you've given your actual name to at least four other visitors, so have fun.

Once you've completed your task, a barista will hand you a welcoming letter:

Welcome to Sitihir! We apologize for the sudden glitch in the system but please take this opportunity to explore the vast world (worlds!) we have to offer you. Should you find it to your liking, you are welcome to stay for as long as you want. If you are itching to return to your home, there is a map on the back of this sheet that will guide you there. Thank you for visiting Sitihir, and may all of your travels be blessed! ~The Programmers

And so there is indeed a map to your character's home world's door on the back, free for them to return to at any time. ]

( OOC: OOC intro stuff is over here, and with this the game is officially open to all posting! contact any player for the password to glitchier if you want to use it to make glitch posts! have fun! )

Comments

[zaibatsu]

[ HELLO! My name is SHITLORD.

... well, worse things could have happened after wandering out of hope's peak, but still, THE FUCKIN' NERVE?? ]

What is this...?!

[cgidolphins]

[ there are few things that make you stop in your tracks like reading the word "shitlord". ]

... Oh... How... unfortunate.

[ hers reads: HELLO! My name is And I Will Leave My Thigh Highs On. which is not "shitlord". ]

[watch]

[ this is extremely concerning. he hasn't even looked down at his nametag yet (which, by the way, reads HELLO! My name is MOMMY ISSUES). he's too busy quietly fidgeting in the corner of this coffee shop wondering why he's here and if he should feel blessed that he currently remembers everything that happened only a few moments ago, with... maya... and everyone else, and the world ending. oh, right. that was a thing. a really bad thing. ]

[btssb]

[REACHES OUT FROM UNDER A TABLE AND GRABS HIS LEG.]

[hoken]

[HELLO! My name is Dirty Bitch!

... well, she certainly should've expected that, but it's still shocks her a little to see it spelled out. fuck you, mitt romney.] I-I am not a "dirty bitch"...!

[gentle]

What is a Dirty Bitch?

[cgidolphins]

[ HELLO! My name is And I Will Leave My Thigh Highs On.

yeah, she's just going to... frown deeply after reading that. after ten minutes of walking around, wondering where the hell she is, and deciding what the hell to do about it -- you know, when she finally realizes it's hanging there. at least she can still look mildly elegant no matter what? ]

[daitsuren]

[He furrows his brow, looking at her nametag. What does that mean? It's confusing and strange and she's wearing weird clothes! At least it's really not hard to figure out what 'thigh highs' are supposed to be. Freaky Western clothes.]

...what will you leave them on for?

[bishoujo]

[seiko being in starbucks isn't weird in and of itself since she's a cutie and cuties like her as well as her drop dead kawaii player luvvvv starbucks, but this nametag? UHHHH...NOT OKAY...]

S-Stupid...?!

['HELLO! my name is STUPID UNLOVABLE BIMBO' to be exact. seiko tries to take it off but it's stuck pretty tight and there's no way she's gonna rip a hole in this cute liz lisa blouse. this is seriously not something she wants to deal with today, she's supposed to be out shopping damnit.]

Waaaaaaaai!!! Get off, stupid name tag! I don't want anyone to see this--! Who even made such a mean thing?!

[citykid]

[ HELLO! My name is SISTER COMPLEX KINGPIN OF STEEL!

that's... entirely predictable, and not exactly flattering, but at least he's used to the title by now. ]

You would think they'd go with something more original...

[epicfailure]

[Oh thank God.]

Dude! [A familiar face! And not just any familiar face, either -- the one Yosuke'd been hoping to spot since he got transported/teleported/whatever to this weird limbo coffee shop. Whatever was going on, Souji had to know what to do. He always did.] What are you doing here!?

[Yosuke's excitement allowed him to completely miss the nametag... for now, at least.]

[bathing]

[HELLO! My name is GOLD DIGGER.

Okay, so it hits the nail right on the head, but Jiyeon's not exactly amused. He's kind of pissed, in fact. But he's just standing near the counter, a pout on his lips and tears in his eyes as he looks down at the nametag.]

...That's not my name at all! Why would someone give me such a mean thing to wear?

[glut]

It's the truth, isn't it?

[Since he's the first face Jisoo recognizes, he makes a beeline for the other cat, not bothering to cover up his own ridiculous nametag at this point. HELLO! My name is SISTER COMPLEX. He looks pissed, too, of course.]

Hey. What is this place?

[judgementscythe]

[This is confusing. I had Viki send me to the ruins and suddenly am in what seems like a different world. Where am I? Back in time? Are these the Sindar? This can't be?]

Dammit Viki where did you send me? What did you do?

[Looking down at her nametag she notices what it says Hello! My name is Greedy Bitch]

VIKI DID KILLEY PUT YOU UP TO THIS? KILLEY YOU FUCKER GET YOUR RED ASS OUT HERE!

[She tears off her nametag and throws it to the ground only to have it reappear moments later]

[jadeblood]

[ Hello! My name is FUSSYFANGS ]

Im Venturing A Guess That Greedy Bitch Is Not Your Real Name

[epicfailure]

[It didn't happen in a flash of light or anything overtly supernatural. Yosuke had been taking his fifteen minutes in the break room, fiddling on his phone and generally trying to stretch the time as long as he could. And it would have been absolutely routine, too... had he not made the mistake of laying down on the couch. No one in less desperate circumstances would even consider it -- the couch had the ass print of every part time employee who had waltzed in and out of the employee roster since the store's grand opening. Looking at it, you might guess it was fifteen years old instead of barely three.

But Yosuke was tired, he'd been standing all day, and his feet needed a serious rest. Falling asleep... not part of the plan.]

Hn...? --Shit!! [It took a full twenty seconds or so for Yosuke's brain to put two and two together--but when he did, it was with no small amount of panic. He bolted upright, clamoring to get his apron on and himself out the door. His dad was going to kill him! Like... actual murder, this time! Why the hell had no one waken him up, anyway??

--Only when Yosuke pushed through the door, it wasn't the Junes women's department at all. It didn't even smell the same. When Yosuke looked behind him, back at the breakroom, that door was gone too. All he could see was a sign that said 'order here', with an arrow pointing toward a smiling barista in a green and black uniform.]

The... hell?

[HELLO! My name is DIESEL DYKE.]

[moribundity]

[ Blinking at that name tag. ]

Like a truck driver? [ Or... maybe a biker chick? Minato isn't up on his motor-friendly lesbian lingo. This kid doesn't look anything like either of those things, though. That's probably the point...

If there is a point. ]

[sandanzuki]

[HELLO! My name is BLOOD THIRSTY.]

Hmmm? [Truthfully, he hasn't even noticed it. And even if he had, it wouldn't matter. But he's visibly both unamused and completely baffled by his surroundings.

But when a guy looks like he just walked out of old Japan, in terms of dress and stance, and even the way the swords sit as his waist, maybe it's not all that surprising that a place like Starbucks would be unfitting. He looks as out of place as he feels, and he wants to either wake up from this strange and confusing dream, or get back to Kyoto ASAP.

He's got shit to do that doesn't involve... well... whatever this is.]

[daitsuren]

[What, don't you want to hang out at Starbucks with a dude who hates you? Kaoru certainly notices that Okita doesn't have Chizuru nearby at all. Annoying, but he might know where she is - and even if he doesn't, he might be entertaining. Briefly.]

Ah, it seems some of these labels are accurate.

[moribundity]

[ HELLO! My name is MANWHORE.

Hm. That's unfortunate.

Being here -- wherever "here" is -- is slightly less so, though. As far as ice-breakers go, this one is at least kind of funny. Minato will most likely catch a few peoples' eyes and say hello, though. Why not? ]

[orphean]

Ah--

[She's only passing him by on her way to scope things out a bit closer, but the nametag catches Minako's eye. She doesn't know if there's any sort of truth to it, even if it's some sort of exaggeration, but it's surprising.

And maybe just a little amusing. Her own reads to be mildly less abrasive: HELLO! My name is BINGE EATER. -- Well, she finds it kind of funny, if a little ridiculous.]

...They really went all out with these, didn't they. [Whoever made them was creative? She guesses.]

[hexcited]

[ HELLO! My name is WIDOWED

... let's be real here. Tharja looks more irritated about the nametag than she does about being in a (seemingly) entirely different world. as far as she's concerned, the devilish word is more abhorrent entirely, eyes narrowed even as she tries a tall, black triple espresso she'd nicked off someone's table.

muttering darkly to herself between sips, Tharja shrinks back to the corner of the shop, not so keen to speak to others on her own just yet. ]

Nonsense... It's nonsense...

[ex_merited757]

[ oh. this corner is occupied, it seems. Yamato had stepped this way hoping to be on his own for a time. the mass of bizarre civilians had begun to make him feel slightly claustrophobic. his name tag (FRIENDLESS POWER MONGERER) suits his level of friendliness well. ]

I share your sentiments.

[arollingstone]

[HELLO! My name is KENNY LOGGINS.]

Huh. [TJ wasn't really a coffee guy, but he was sort of jonesin' for a scone. How come he didn't remember walking in here? Weird. Though he'd seen stranger, to be perfectly fair.

Might as well get in the queue and see about scorin' one of them cinnamon apple doohickeys. Those things sounded downright illegal.]

[hopegiven]

[ HELLO! My name is worthless.

komaeda isn't bothered with the nametag's description. instead, he's much more interested in looking around the coffee shop. ]

Ah, they can have chocolate chips and caramel in drinks? But that sounds too decadent...

[defeathering]

[ it's hard to pretend he can't see the nametag, but since he doesn't want to call attention to his own—MASSIVE SIBLING COMPLEX—he lets the topic sit for a moment in favor of more pleasant conversation. ]

It's a little like ordering dessert! I'm not fond of the taste of coffee, so I always have to filter it with something sweet.

[heartboobs]

[HELLO! My name is YOUR HOT BIG SIS.]

Ah...

[Well, it could be worse, right? No use stressin' over the small stuff!]

[lovesmash]

[looks like she isn't the only hot big sis here... iva was already able to remove her nametag, but didn't know she could leave yet. far be it from her to leave all these poor women trapped in a strange place like this, right? especially with all these grosso men crawling about...

iva approaches maya, a disarming smile on her face, and points to her name tag.]

Have you tried taking it off yet? I was able to take mine right off just now.

[gentle]

[HELLO! My name is Gay Babyfur...

he doesn't even know what this means. gay?? babyfur??? he hardly sees what being gay and having the fur of a baby animal has to do with each other, but it seems rude.

luckily his pokemon seem to be with him but he's not going to release them just yet in case these people are crazy. instead, he orders a vegan macchiato and starts begrudgingly approaching people.

blah blah n randomly goes up to ur char and says hi.]

Hello. Apparently, my name is Gay Babyfur. Who are you?

[watch]

[ uh... well, at least the green giant over here is taking it well? ]

That's not really your name... is it?

[ what is a babyfur ]

[defeathering]

[ HELLO! My name is MASSIVE SIBLING COMPLEX.

jun is not too surprised about being in a coffee shop. he is surprised about the nametag, and he fiddles with it, frowning slightly—the unfortunate truth is that it's not wrong, but it's a little unnerving to have it laid out in such blatant terms.

he just cares... that's all... ]

Ah... I've been called worse things.

[citykid]

[ huh. Souji's only been here for a few minutes and he already feels some solidarity. he coughs quietly to get the boy's attention and then gestures at the both of their name tags. ]

This seems to be a popular theme.

[kungfu]

[ HELLO! My name is SLUT.

Needless to say, there's a very angry blonde present, screeching at no one in particular and whoever's close enough to listen to her complain instead, whether they want to or not. ]

What the hell kind of crap joke is this, huh?!

[bishoujo]

[ g a s p s . ]

Who would say such an awful thing?! You can't go around calling girls such gross names! You should find whoever made that and beat them up!

[deleter]

Well well well, isn't this a pretty pile of crap! See if I check out Bubs's special store room again. This place smells like coffee grounds... and rat traps... and BO. --Er, guess that's pretty standard for Bubs, but where are the freakin' computers! I was promise state of the art!!

[yeah don't mind the ugly animal thing muttering to itself in the corner, pushing his egg-like head under tables in the search for... something.

HELLO! My name is NOT IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO BE THE WEBSITE URL.]

[judgementscythe]

[Lorelai, sitting at her table instinctively kicks out her leg after something brushes against it accidentally kicking the strange man like thing under the table.]

You, what do you think you are doing?

[Lorelai instinctively stands up and takes an aggressive stance and only finally notices that her Scythe didn't make the trip here with her]

[zippo]

...

[ his nametag says HELLO! My name is SELFISH LIFE RUINER. great. he readjusts his jacket, trying to hide the message from plain sight. ]

[kungfu]

Tsk, lemme look at it. [ she reaches up to tear his nametag off (she's tucked a napkin over hers rn somehow idk napkin magic) and toss it in a trashbin BUT IT DOESNT COME OFF I GUESS... SO SHE's just tugging at it don't mind her, man ] Fan ah, this thing is really stuck to you!

[glenamored]

[ One moment, Glen is distractedly reaching into her closet to grab an appropriate dress for her evening appointment, and the next...

Unless her clothes have all come to life in the form of a bunch of incredibly confused and disoriented people with odd name tags in the middle of what appears to be a cafe (which is no longer her closet, possibly because she'd inhaled something hallucinogenic recently), something is definitely wrong with this picture.

HELLO! My name is BOW-CHIKA-WOW-WOW. Add one more confused person to the mix. She wrinkles her nose and shakes her head. ] No one's knocked me over the head and dragged me off yet. Let's try to reserve judgement.

[ Take a deep breath. Smile! A genuine smile can go a long way in any uncertain situation. ]

[dungenessmaster]

[Have a teenaged boy. With horns. And grey skin. Also pointy monster teeth with one seriously pronounced overbite.

Nametag: HELLO! My name is ADORABLOODTHIRSTY]

If that's your standard for an acceptable place to be transported to out of nowhere, I want to know about the sort of places you actually hate.

[orphean]

[HELLO! My name is BINGE EATER.

...And the girl sure lives up to her name, as she appears to have acquired: Croissants, muffins, a brownie, and a tall coffee. She's found a place to sit. She's got no problem walking around and talking to people, but the effort only serves to remind her that she's pretty hungry and the smell of Starbucks baked good in the air is all too tempting.

She's got bigger things to concern herself with, but she doesn't appear to be troubled by it at all. It'll all work out. After she eats.]

...Mmm. It's good! [Her words are muffled by a buttery, flaky croissant that she's taken a bite of. Delicious.]

[axekicker]

Too many sweets will make your teeth rot.

[So says the gloomy guy with the nametag HELLO! My name is ALLERGIC TO BULLETS. Which was irritating enough as it was, but it looked like he wasn't the only unfortunate one stuck with it. Minako's he doesn't comment on, only walks up to her instead with what she would probably deem amused and others would call an intimidating expression. He lingers to the side, eyeing her overflowing plate of sweets with a raised brow.]

You should get a sandwich or something too if they got any good ones. [Though who knew how fresh the ingredients were prepackaged and sitting in a cooler? They looked alright enough...hopefully.]

[daitsuren]

[HELLO! My name is NEEDS THERAPY.

Wow, what a pointless and incomprehensible nametag. Also, what is a nametag? It looks pretty out of place on Kaoru's very not modern clothing.

He doesn't know where he is, either. Not a whole lot of Starbucks in Meiji Japan, you know? He sits up straight, narrowed eyes surveying the place, a carefully pleasant smile on his face. Best not to make any enemies quite yet.

He turns to whoever is nearest.]

Excuse me. Is this some sort of tea shop?

[watch]

[ who is talking to him? he turns around and sees... a small person in some period clothing. he must be a LARPer. how lame. ]

Huh? Um... it's a coffee house, I think. I'm sure you could get tea if you asked for it.

[vizkei]

[eikichi's mind has been known to venture down some odd corridors before, but even he doesn't expect space-dimensional limbo to resemble a coffee shop. and it's hard for a guy, even one as beautiful as michel, to be the picture of weary, war-torn composure when there's an outline of a mermaid smiling blankly downwards from the ceiling. oh, sure, he's just uprooted his world completely with bloodied, calloused hands, but coffee will help on the way to that awful fresh start, right?

HELLO! My name is BUTTERBALL his tag declares, and though he's yet to read it, he can hardly dispute the claim anyway - gawking around and rubbing his eyes, he's all sheer ineloquent confusion.]

[watch]

M-Michel! [ runs toward, dramatically and anime like ] Is that you?

[ what a stupid question, who else would look like he does ]

[impartially]

[ Instead of addressing any of the people in this strange cafe, Kyouko Kirigiri has chosen a different path: namely, she is investigating the place thoroughly, pausing only to re-read the welcome letter she'd found on her person upon arriving.

Her name tag reads: HELLO! My name is DEAD BODY GROPER. ]

[godowntogether]

Hey, uh--

[his eyes drop to her nametag and he takes an awkward shufflestep backward.]

You know what, n-nevermind.

[not that his is much better, it reads CAPTAIN JANEWAY.]